Depression: What's Holding You Back?

Depression: What’s Holding You Back?

Reflecting over the past I can sit back and ask myself “what’s holding you back”?  In this particular instant I'm referring to myself (and others) who deal with depression regarding talking to the doctor about medication.

Many years ago, when I was first diagnosed with depression, the doc felt strongly that I needed to go on anti depressants.  Although I KNEW he was probably right, I hated the thought of having to take medication but I did agree to do so.

So there I was diagnosed with depression and taking medication hoping it would bring some sort of relief into my life. I was horribly ashamed during those years. I hid it from everyone, even family except for my husband. It took several weeks for me to feel any sort of improvement but it did happen and I was relieved.

Still the notion of having to be on anti depressants was not something I could accept for myself very easily. I had been influenced by the general population’s point of view; if you were diagnosed with depression and on medication you must be crazy, less than acceptable, a troubled person, and the looks that someone would give you and the opinions they would have were not very nice.

Over the years I have accepted the fact that I need to take my medication. There have been several times I’ve tried to get off them but within about 3 months I was back on them. I’ve made A LOT of progress in accepting all of the above and as you know I'm quite open about this disease now…. But something caught me off guard in this past year. My depression was getting worse, oh heck I chalked it up the Holidays were coming in a couple of months (or whatever other excuse I could think of) and I knew it would pass. The problem was, it didn’t pass, the depression got worse and there was no improvement. Of course being the “great pretender” I put on my best face and proceeded forward as others expected me to, that is until I was exhausted of the pretense and no longer could fight the battle alone.

I knew I needed to see the doc again, and figured a medication increase was in line… but I still fought that idea, old stigmas were haunting me again, I had a difficult time accepting it. WOW, after all these years I was fighting it again? Yup, I was, but I did go and I did have an increase in my medication, and guess what? I’m feeling much better now.

I've shared all this just to say… don’t allow anyone or anything hold you back from doing what is best for yourself, your health. Take that step, go see your doc, it’s OK… it’s OK… it’s OK!!! It may take a little time for you to start feeling improvement but it will happen. Will it take all your depression away? I honestly don’t know the answer to that, everyone is different, there is no ‘set rule’ to this… but I do know it will be a positive step in the progress of dealing with your depression….