Depression: "My Faith & Depression"

My Faith & Depression.

What role does my Faith play in my life dealing with depression? Have I ever doubted my faith? I would be amiss to tell you no. The answer is: Yes… yes I have doubted my faith in God a number of times throughout my Christian walk.  For me those times were during extreme lows of depression. There have been times in my life that I’ve cried out to Him and wondered where He was and why I had to go through this once again. Yet, deep inside there was that one teeny tiny seed of faith, so small that it seemed to be invisible to human eye even if one used a high powered microscope. So minute that I believe only God could see it, and I almost certainly could not feel it.

Does that make me a bad person, a bad Christian? No! Not at all! I dare to say that most Christians who have been walking in the Faith for a while and if they would be gut level honest; they would admit that at some point during their walk they too have doubted their Faith. But that is just my own personal opinion and I can only speak for myself.

Let me tell you what I do know about my faith in God. I KNOW that if not for Him I would not be living and breathing today.  In a few of the lowest of lows, when I felt so alone, so desperate and could see no hope, it was only by the Grace of God that I survived through those very difficult times. It was in the depth of those feelings of despair that God seemed to breathe a small breath of hope within me to hold on to as He pulled me closer under His wings. He let me know that in spite of all my doubts He still loved me and He was still in control. He gave me what I needed at the exact moment I needed it.

So, have I ever doubted my faith? Yes!  Have I ever let Him down? Yes!  But this I do know yet I cannot explain He has always been faithful to me, despite all my doubts and I can find refuge within His love for me.

Psalm 91:1-4  (New Living Translation)

 ¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
      will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
 ² This I declare about the Lord:
   He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
      he is my God, and I trust him.
 ³ For he will rescue you from every trap
      and protect you from deadly disease.
 ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
      He will shelter you with his wings.
      His faithful promises are your armor and protection.