Grudges and Judges

Ok I know... it's been a LONG time since I've posted anything... well to be honest... I've been pondering what to talk about... something that would be meaningful, helpful etc... I wrote this quite some time back but I think I will post it now... soon to come I will begin posting issues surrounding "depression", I will be sharing some of my experience and also facts about this subject.  If you know of someone that would be interested in learning more about this silent disease, please point them in this direction and perhaps they will learn a bit more about these issues.

Grudges (resentment) and Judges (forming a negative opinion about someone)

This issue has been on my mind for a very long time now.  I have both friends and family that just can’t get past issues or differences they have. What a waste of energy and life.  Grudges or resentment eats away at the person who is holding it. You sit there and stew about it over and over. Each time the issue comes up, you begin all the negative thoughts, the negative feelings the judging. Sometimes you even work yourself up so much you get headaches or other physical feelings etc.. Do you honestly think this is affecting the person you hold a grudge against?  They are off living their life as usual, sipping their coffee, going to work, going shopping, fixing dinner, enjoying their friends and so on.

It is you that continues to pay, both emotionally and physically.

So what do we do, how should we handle the hurts, offenses and downright nastiness of those who have betrayed our trust, slandered our name, set their self high on a pedestal thinking themselves better than anyone else? That’s the hard part isn’t it?

Well we could become just as vindictive as they are… setting them up for failure, spreading the word about how nasty or mean they are, spending our lives trying to figure out how to get back at them. Sure… that would work as we slowly lower ourselves to a standard that everyone just loves to befriend or be around…and die a lonely crotchety person full of negativity…. NOT!

I know you are probably thinking “oh sure right, just be nice to them, forgive them yada yada… after what they’ve said and done to me or someone I care about, I DON’T think that’s gonna happen, they need to PAY for what they did!!!” 

I hear where you are coming from, been there done that got the T-shirt.  I didn’t say it was or is easy. In fact it’s very difficult and there are times I still deal with it as it raises its ugly head, reminding me how deeply it hurt me, what it cost me and the old feelings come flooding back. But it’s at that point I have to make a decision ONCE AGAIN to let it go, because I refuse to become another victim of someone else’s doing.

I’m the type of person who feels if there has been a wrong doing then they should sit down as adults and discus the issue. Depending on how deep the wounds, a third party should be involved (someone who will not take sides and knows how to handle these types of situations such as a pastor or counselor).  Keep in mind screaming, hollering, cussing each other out will not bring a pleasant outcome.  Sometimes the person who has offended you does not even realize they have done so and quietly talking about the issue with that person can really help mend your hard feelings.